Draw near to me and redeem me; ransom me because of my enemies. You know the insults I endure--my shame and disgrace. You are aware of all my adversaries. Insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. I waited for sympathy, but there was none; for comforters, but found no one. Psalms 69:18-20
The Industry of Listening
In the midst of our world of impersonal relationships a whole industry has developed. Not only is it difficult to find someone to listen, our fear of people who we have not developed a relationship of trust with creates a need for confidentiality as well. And so, the burgeoning counseling industry and talk radio psychology shows are born. People will often go to a professional counselor because they know someone will listen and can’t tell anyone what was disclosed. It is not that they need advice so much as they need someone who will listen to them with keen interest and undivided attention, someone who will draw them out and help them understand themselves. It doesn’t bother them that the counselor costs money. They need that listening ear and they have not been able to find it in their mates or other Christian friends.
Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
This is one way by which the members of the Body of Christ can minister to each other. It is impossible for vocational pastors to meet this need in the life of every believer in a congregation. But we can all minister to one another in this way. We don’t need a great deal of training to be good listeners, to ask leading questions and encourage people to talk. We just need to do it. By listening, we can bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). By listening, we can demonstrate Christlike love. Are you willing to try it? If so, you will need to know what it involves.
The Art of Effective Listening
Examining the parallels between listening to God’s Word and listening to one another can be quite helpful. Seek first to understand. To begin with, good Bible study seeks to discover what God means by the words He has revealed, not the meaning we want to attach to them. Good listening does the same. Our aim is to understand what other people mean by the words they use, not what we think they mean or want them to mean. Real listening does not just hear words, but endeavors to understand the meaning of the message intended by the speaker of those words. We may be able to repeat the person’s exact words back to him and still not understand their meaning. A parrot can repeat words. Real listening hears people and what they mean, and so builds understanding between them.
Give your undivided attention. James suggested how we ought to listen to God’s Word. “But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does” (James 1:25). The word look means literally “to stoop down beside.” We need to listen intently to each other as well. Undivided attention will require eye contact. As we have seen, our body language speaks louder than our words. What someone wants to say to us is important enough for us to put aside whatever else we are doing. Undivided attention will also require us to keep our minds from wandering. That may not be easy. But we can discipline ourselves to pay attention if we choose to.
There are more ways to listen effectively but practicing just these two today is a good start. Let’s let God use our ears in ministry today.
Scripture to Claim:
Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16
