Standoff

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT

A standoff is a confrontation between at least two parties in which neither party can proceed nor retreat without being exposed to danger. As a result, all participants need to maintain the strategic tension, which remains unresolved until some outside event makes it possible to resolve it; a stalemate or deadlock between two equally matched opponents in a dispute or conflict.

With so many intense issues going on in the world today, it seems like we have all drawn our weapons and we are staring wide-eyed at each other, waiting for someone to make the next move.  It feels like a stalemate with no one willing to back down first.  I know I feel threatened.  It seems as if the things I hoped would never really happen in my lifetime are coming true.  Liberties and safety have been compromised within the borders of our own country, and people feel fearful and question the actions and motives of those around them.  It has become a crime to punish those who disobey the law so who is safe?  We all feel so threatened we have our weapons drawn and we are not moving.

Understanding and Being Understood

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families Stephen Covey said, Seek first to understand, then to be understood. It is more important than ever that we make the effort to end this standoff and back down.  Paul told us to live in peace with everyone, if it is at all possible.  That means that we must do everything possible on our part to get along with everyone.  God expects that of us. It does not mean to support agendas that do not coincide with God’s word but it does mean that we might need to make a little extra effort to understand where people are coming from.  We cannot influence others if do not seek to understand them first. 

He also said, People do not see the world as it is, they see it as they are.  We all have our own worldview.  We bring our own assumptions, expectations, and experiences from our childhood and we view the world through these lenses.  Thus, all our perspectives are different and we each have our own ideas of how the world should be. 

I hope this is true.  I hope I am not seeing the world as it truly is but my fear is that I may not be honest with myself as to how bad it really is.  I am a “head in the sand kind of person” - that is how I prefer to handle difficulty.  I want to pretend it isn’t really there and hope it goes away with no problems or conflict. We need to take our heads out of the sand and pay attention to what is going on. We cannot control the world, but we can control ourselves.  It is cliché but we can love the sinner, not the sin.  We easily get lost in wanting to win or to put the other person in his place but our true focus in everything we do should only be to honor Christ with our words and actions and to understand what it is He is teaching us through this situation. 

Compromising morals and beliefs should never have to be part of “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”  Some of us are guilty of erasing our own lines to keep everyone happy but this will only work for a little while in any situation.  Pretty soon, everyone will be happy but you. That is certainly not what Paul was talking about in this passage. When things get heated and tense, we need to take a step back and place ourselves in the other person’s shoes.  Try to understand.  We may never get the favor returned but it is our only option to try to end the stalemate. Pray and ask God for strength, wisdom, patience, and understanding to first understand and then hopefully be understood in a tough situation.

Scripture to Claim:

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11  ESV