Friday, September 4, 2015

Why is it so hard and so exhausting to trust?

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4 ESV
I am tired.  We all are tired.  We fill our lives with way too many activities and commitments, even good, worthwhile commitments.  We have this urgency to grab every good opportunity that presents itself.  We want our kids to have every possible experience and we want to be a part of every available group. Too many commitments is not all that is making me tired.  
I know part of the reason I am so tired.  It is not from running all over the city, back and forth to home and town a million times a week.  I am tired because I work extra hard at holding on as long as I can to all the worry, stress, and tension that I should be letting go of and letting God handle.  I am putting way too much effort into not trusting God and letting it go as soon as I should. 
I read these words from Jenny Allen recently: “Take comfort.  This is a journey that God put into motion, and He knows us well enough to know that He needs to tether us to Himself with the unknowns.  We get all independent with what we think we know.” If I could speak with her I would tell her she needs to add tired.  It is exhausting to try to own all of that responsibility but it is even more tiring to try to juggle and hold onto everything we have no control over.  God does it so much better and He wants it!  He wants us to give it all to Him and rest in His ability and power to cover everything.  Rest eludes us when we hesitate to trust in God with our whole lives like we should.  We are tense and stressed and worried much of the time.
Not knowing what the future holds is part of the plan.  God does not want to give us too much information because then we do think we can handle this all by ourselves.  We think we know so why do we need to trust Him?  We run away the first chance we get just like a small child whose confidence has blossomed and they no longer need to cling to their mother’s leg.  Suddenly they find themselves in the middle of unfamiliar surroundings amongst big people they don’t recognize and they frantically search every face for the familiar face of their mother.  And when they find her, what do they do?  They run, as fast and as hard as they can, straight to her arms, where they find security and safety. 
I have seen many little children tethered to their parents with a “leash” of sorts.  The kids hate them, but the purpose is for their safety.  That is part of the reason God tethers us to Him with all the unknowns.  It is for our own safety and good. I hate it at times, but then again when I think about it the way Jennie Allen put it, it brings me comfort. There is security in knowing that I am tied to God, even if it is with unknowns. I just have to trust.  I just have to let go.  I am finding that harder to do sometimes.  I don’t like not knowing if everything will be ok next week or next year.  I want to know that my kids will all be safe and nothing horrible will happen to them.  I want to know that the future is secure.

The Bible tells us Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.  Proverbs 3:5-8 ESV   We have to let God handle it or we wear ourselves out.  He has us and that is where the safety and rest lie.  He is the only one true safe place.  He knows better than we do and He loves us.   When we do this the reward is almost immediate.  We may still be tethered by the unknowns, but we understand and can appreciate the tethers. The stress level decreases and the worries subside.  Let go, put it in God’s hands where it belongs and rest in being tethered to the one who is in control. 

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