Monday, June 26, 2023

LEAVING A MESS - by Donnie O'Fallon

Monday, June 26, 2023

“He said to me, My grace is sufficient to you, for my power is perfected in weakness…”  

2 Corinthians 12:9a NASV

LEAVING A MESS - by Donnie O'Fallon

At this point and time in my life, I’m praying for four close personal friends who are facing death in a short time and two close acquaintances who are battling cancer. Praying for these six people is profoundly impacting my life. Their plight is not is not life interrupted, this is life! Our culture speaks of beating death, defying age, the war on cancer: all battles we’re sure to loose. Next to birth, death is one of the most profound experiences we’ll ever face or endure.

There’s a lot of holding on and letting go, a combination of multiple feelings and emotions that are not easy dealt with. As a pastor for some 45 years, my goal has always been, to help individuals and their families to navigate through these delicate and difficult circumstances and to offer practical help and spiritual direction through Gods promises.

 One of my friends, with terminal cancer said to me last week,  ” I don’t wat to leave a mess for my wife or anyone else to have to clean up!”  We talked about what that meant and how to best utilize the time he had remaining. Those secrets, the junk, the unresolved financial issues and broken relationships are just some of those messes.  When it comes to the end of life, our messes become much more consequential. 

Myself? I am a bit of “messy person”, while Marsha on the other hand is just the opposite. I have my stacks and can be somewhat disorganized. Not her!  Everything is neat, tidy, in its proper place, knives and forks pointed correctly, in the drawer etc. Since my two heart episodes over the last two years, Marsha has asked me recently, to help her now to deal with my shop and tools, my Classic 1964 Pontiac GTO, my books, and library, and so on. She said, “I do not know the values, nor your wishes for all those things.” You see, I’ve done all the legal and financial preparations. But I want to make it easier especially for her and for my family when that time comes. I have already found out, my kids do not want my cherished and valuable stuff. So I’ve begun selling it and giving it away. Below are three things I’m going to do as Marsha asked me to do.

DESINATED AND SYSTEMATIC CLEANING - I’m asking a granddaughter who is more computer literate than me, to help me scan and delete files, shred papers etc. She’s a nurse also, therefore I’m asking her to dump all meds etc. I’m going through my closet, shop, books, and guns, selling discarding, giving away. “It is certain we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we will not carry anything out of it.”

THE IMPORTANCE OF WORDS - Get rid of toxic feeling and emotions. Right, hurt relationships. Most people long to hear words that mend fractured relationships. Words like: “Please Forgive me’; “I forgive You”; “Thank you for…”; “I love you.” Make peace with your past!

By doing some of these things we will lighten our load so we can be more present for the rest of our Life. Tomorrow, I Want to share about what it means to LEAVE A MARK.


So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12


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