Wednesday, April 15, 2020


Wednesday, April 15, 2020  By Pastor Van

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:29-32 NASB

In this time of “Forced Togetherness”, here are some things that can really make a difference in our communication.  They are taken from Pastor Jimmy Evans, but I could not help but pass them along.  Communication takes work.  Those who do not work at it will find themselves in trouble with relationships.  Over the next couple of days, we will look at The Five Essential Elements of Good Communication.

Think back to the period of time when you and your spouse were falling in love with each other. You spent hour after hour together. You discovered you were attracted to each other. But perhaps the most critical part of that process involved words. You talked and talked and talked. Communication is how you fell in love, how you will stay in love, and how you will thrive during this challenging season.

 I.    The Right Tone

Everything you say in marriage has to be said with the right tone. In fact, often tone communicates more than the literal words themselves. Saying “You’re so wonderful” in a loving tone is very different from growling “You’re so wonderful” in a sarcastic, biting tone.

Tone tells the other person whether or not you care. It can show empathy and understanding. It can convey security to women or respect to men. These are significant needs, and tone helps deliver them. Always watch your tone when you’re speaking to your spouse.

The same is true with our children.  They know when we are sincere and quick to discern our moods and sincerity.  They know when, ‘I’ll be right there” is a delay tactic or a promise.

II.    Enough Time

For communication to accomplish what it needs to accomplish, it has to have enough time.  Rushed words in passing to do not constitute effective communication.  You put down your phones and, face to face, talk about work, the kids, or any issues that may have come up. If you can’t find time each day to talk, you’re too busy.

With children, time equals love.  It’s really no different with adults, but our children really need this significance building time.  As our children hit the teen years it is even more important.  Deep discussions about life don’t occur in rushed moments.

PART 2 Tomorrow

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. 
Proverbs 25:11 NASB

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