"But
the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and
a sincere faith." 1 Timothy 1:5
Why?
“Eat your beans.” “Why?” “Don’t touch that!” “Why?” “Stay out of the street!” “Why?” “Put that down.” “Why?” “No, you can’t have a cookie right before dinner.” “Why?” “Please stop poking the cat in
the eye!” “Why?” “Mommy and Daddy want to be alone for a
while.” “Why?”
From practically the moment a child
learns to speak, they begin to ask “Why.”
As they get older, and begin to mature in their thinking…a bit…they
begin not only to question why, but to evaluate for themselves whether or not
the answer they receive for why is a
valid answer.
Ultimately, a parent succumbs to the
temptation to use that phrase that they silently swore they would never use… “Because I said so!” We hated that answer as kids. We wanted something and when we were
denied, we wanted an answer we could agree with. “Because I said so” did not fit that description. It just compounded what we already felt
was unfair. We wanted what we
wanted, and that was that. We
couldn’t see…we couldn’t comprehend the larger lesson to be learned.
“Well
you see, Timmy…”
1950’s sitcoms were all about moral
lessons. Every episode was wrapped
up nicely by the end of the half hour.
Generally, there was a meeting between the father figure and the
affected child figure where the father figure would spell out clearly the moral
lesson of that situation: “You see Timmy,
the reason we had to give Scraps a new home was that Old Man Cooper is all
alone now. And Scraps will be able
to help him around the house.” “Gee Pop, but I’ll miss him so much!” “I know son. I know. But now
you won’t have anymore half eaten slippers!” Child laughs. “Yeah.” And they embrace. The laugh track would
sound, the closing theme would play, and the closing credits would roll. Scene.
This
is going to hurt me more than it hurts you
It is the hardest thing we ever
do…raising children into mature, contributing, moral members of society. We have visions of lessons they need to
learn. Heartaches they will have
to endure. Indulgences that they
will need to learn to deny for themselves…or suffer the consequences for.
There are spiritual goals as well,
aren’t there? Paul was spelling
this out to Timothy, his spiritual son, in the passage above. "But
the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and
a sincere faith." God doesn’t
want us to remain spiritual children forever. Often, when we are in the midst
of not getting what we feel we deserve, we feel we are in no state of mind to
be able to absorb the “You see, Timmy…” message that is God’s intent for that
purpose.
The
Point of it All…
If we are wise, we will strive to keep
teaching our children…and not merely correcting. Likewise, we will keep our eyes open for higher truths that
our Heavenly Father may be trying to get our attention for. James says: “Consider it all
joyful when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your
faith produces endurance.” James 1:2 The
point of it all is that God wants for us what we want for our kids…he wants us
to grow up in all aspects. See
Ephesians 4:15.
As parents, we will endure the Why’s,
and the Not Fair’s, and the barrage of arguments as to why our way is not
best. And we will strive to hang
in there…being consistent, patient, long suffering, and teaching, confident
that “He who has begun a good work in us (and our children) will be faithful to
complete it.
Scripture
to Claim: “Train up a child in the way
he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it..” Proverbs 22:6
