"Therefore
if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your
brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar
and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your
offering.” Matthew 5:23-24
The Bible commends us to the task
of reconciliation. Whether it is with a
family member, friend or Christian brother or sister, we are not only
encouraged to reconcile our differences but commanded to. We continue with John’s direction about
properly handling a dispute with another in the church.
1.
Speak
In A Private Manner - I had many
things to write to you, but I am not willing to write them to you with pen and
ink; but I hope to see you shortly, and we will speak face to face.
3 John 1:13-14
Some things just do not need to
be written or addressed over the phone. While
there a lot of ways to talk to people such as over the phone, by email,
twitter, instant messaging, letter or through another person; the best way to
communicate with someone that you have a conflict with is face to face. All other methods just do not have the same
impact or influence to bring closure to a conflict. We need to see them face to face.
Sometimes the conflict is very
public and involves many people. Such
would be the case with a debate over a theological issue or doctrinal stance of
the church. This should not be done in
blogs and private emails and letters but the parties should debate this
publicly so all can benefit from the understanding. Paul openly addressed Peter in Antioch when
he had refused to sit with Gentile believers but had chosen to sit only with
Jews. When
Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the
wrong. (NIV) Galatians 2:11 The offence was public and so
was their discussion.
Sometimes sincere Christians and
even Christian leaders make mistakes. It
may take other sincere Christians to help get them back on track. If you are convinced that someone is doing
harm to themselves or to the church, try the direct approach but do so with
grace.
Other times the offense is personal
and should be handled that way but still face to face to avoid any mixed
signals and bring closure. “If your brother
sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won
your brother. "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with
you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be
confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he
refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax
collector.” Matthew 18:15-17
Again, the direction of our
communication when in conflict is to the individual who is either in trouble
with sin or is offending you. Offended
individuals who do not properly deal with their hurt will hurt others. Believers are not immune to conflict with one
another. Issues of the faith are often
emotional issues. The fact there is the
priesthood of the believer allowing each one to interpret God’s words gives great
authority across a wide spectrum as believers grow in the understanding of
their faith and practice.
John’s handling of these men is a
good example of how to deal with relationships and different
personalities. He was known as the
Beloved Disciple due to his love. I am
certain that the law of love applied to all he did. May we learn from him in our relationships.
Scripture to Claim:
Pursue
peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the
Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of
bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14-15
