“So
if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother
has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First
be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew
5:23, 24
The
dish of candy was there on the lamp table beside the couch, and I had been
raiding it regularly during my visit at a family member’s house. After dinner one evening, I turned to fetch
another bite of candy and carelessly knocked the dish off onto the carpeted
floor next to the table. My heart
stopped. I first picked up the lid and
was comforted to find it had not shattered.
Next I reached for the bottom bowl.
It seemed to be intact…that is, until I examined the underside. There were three crystal feet that the bowl
rested upon, and one had been broken off.
After a hurried search, I found it.
I felt awful. I had broken the
dish.
I
carried the dish and its broken part to my family member and confessed to the
crime. Her countenance fell. The candy dish had been a gift to her from
her sister in law, who was deceased. I
had broken a treasured heirloom, an irreplaceable possession. My family member took the broken dish and
detached foot piece and disappeared to attempt repairs.
I
expressed my apology for the clumsy accident, and I was dismissed with the
words “Well, it’s done. Nothing we can
do about it.” I had never felt so
helpless. I wanted to make it
right. Ultimately, an epoxy was applied
to the glass and the foot was reattached.
The bowl was refilled with candy and replaced with its lid there on the
table. Years later, I picked it up and
examined the damage I had caused again.
There was the scar. There was
where repairs had been made. My regret
lingered, even then. But my family
member had never mentioned it again. I
had been forgiven.
Oops! My Bad!
Is
it just me, or do apologies seem to come very cheaply these days? And I don’t want to diminish us extending a
sincere apology when we have wronged a brother or sister… I’ve just witnessed
far too many instances where a token apology is extended and the guilty party
walks away feeling that they are completely absolved of wrong. Sometimes, it isn’t merely an apology that is
needed; it is restitution. “I’m deeply
sorry that I broke your garden rake.
Here, I have purchased you a new one.
Please accept my apology. Should
you ever loan me anything again, I hope to assure you I will take very good
care of it.”
Recently,
my father had his car at a friend’s garage getting his air conditioner
repaired. In making the repairs, the
mechanic friend inadvertently burned a hole through another component of the
air conditioner. He admitted
responsibility for the damage, but pled that the damage was an accident, so he
had no responsibility to repair what he had done at his own cost. Ultimately my father had to take his car
elsewhere and pay several hundred dollars for the repair. In speaking with my dad, while he laments the
unnecessary costs, but he grieves over the loss of a friend, and the violation
he felt. He just wanted it made
right. He wanted to be able to trust his
friend again.
Make it right
Whether
we are dealing with broken possessions, broken promises, or hurt feelings, the
Lord encourages us to be reconciled with the offended brother or sister. Sometimes reconciliation isn’t as simple as
reattaching a broken bowl foot or buying a new rake. Sometimes, it’s a matter of rebuilding a
friendship and reestablishing trust. It
may take days, weeks, or even years…but it must be done. Pride has to be set aside and genuine
contrition exhibited. People and
relationships have to be put first. We
will seek to make it right. This too is
what it means to live as Christ.
Prayer
Lord
Jesus, so many times in this life, we injure others by our actions and words…or
lack of actions and words. We break
things. We break hearts. Sometimes we act in anger and with
intention. Sometimes our actions are
accidental. Still the damage happens. Help us O Lord, as we seek to heal
relationships and restore lives. Help us
not simply to say we are sorry, but to prove that we care when people are
injured by us. In your name I pray,
Amen.
