Understanding Proper Forgiveness

God’s Second Greatest Gift (Part 4)

Genesis 50:18-21

I. The Dimensions of Forgiveness (Like facets on a diamond)

• Forgiveness NEEDED; RECEIVED; GRANTED
• Forgiveness REPEATED

Anger mishandled can lead to renewed bitterness.

To forgive a person momentarily and not forever is not to forgive. It is only to grant a delay in sentencing. 

Forgiveness and Restoring Relationships – Joseph and His Brothers -

Only God has the right to judge another for the wrongs they do.

God can overrule our hurts, even turning instances of pain into "good".

Maintaining unhealthy relationships creates and continues sick systems.

Some relationships can seemingly only be restored after they are destroyed.

The hesitation to forgive often stems from an improper perception of what forgiveness really is and how it affects the relationships with the one being forgiven.  Getting a proper understanding can assist us to properly deal with our pain and to know the power we maintain in forgiving.

II. Things Forgiving is Not

A. Forgiving is not excusing.

Justifying, understanding, or explaining away someone's behavior is not the same as forgiving.

We excuse people when they are not to blame.

B. Forgiving is not enabling wrong behavior.

Forgiving sometimes must include confronting and rebuking.  

C. Forgiving is not smothering conflict or tolerance.

Emotional hypocrisy is a false testimony of God’s real deliverance in our lives.

D. Forgiving is not forgetting.

You cannot forgive what you don’t remember.

God chooses not to interact with us based upon what we’ve done, but instead upon what Christ has done.

E. Forgiving is not ceasing to feel the pain or instant emotional healing.

F. Forgiving is not waiting for an apology.

G. Forgiving is not removal of consequences or neglecting justice.

H. Forgiving is not regaining automatic trust.

Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.” Rick Warren

I. Forgiving is not restoring the same relationship or reconciliation.