I Know Something You Don’t Know

(submitted by an anonymous Secret Sinner)
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. 
Psalm 90:8

I’ve got a secret. Sometimes secrets are exciting, but sometimes they can be no fun at all. These secrets are the ones that you hold inside for fear of anyone ever finding out the truth.  They cause fear rejection, judgment from peers, and the destruction of your character.  They can destroy trust, love, and intimacy.  They can tear down self-esteem and self-respect. Most importantly, they can separate you from God.

We all have secrets and we all have secret sins.  It may be a heart issue, like an attitude or hate towards someone, or it may be something bigger – on the outside.  We may feel that we are ok because, after all, no one knows about my secret sin but me, therefore I am not hurting anyone else or affecting their lives in any way.  But two people know – you and God. It is hidden – but it’s not.   Psalm 66:18 warns us of one consequence of secret sin.  “If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear me”.  In other words if you have a cherished secret sin that you habitually hold on to, it will hurt your connection to God.

The following is adapted from The Pain of Secret Sin by Bryant Evans

Secret sins often lie enmeshed in our greatest spiritual weaknesses and there thrive on our embarrassment and feelings of worthlessness and helplessness. Secret sins are the ones that have the greatest power over our lives and the greatest ability to destroy. They are the ones that if they become widely known will crush us in humiliation.

Sin that is kept secret produces guilt, and guilt has a way of changing us.  Whether public or secret, sin is like a cancerous tumor upon the soul, spirit and emotions of man. Hidden sin brings with it fears and feelings of powerlessness. Continued hiding only makes the problem worse. There is always a fear of discovery and embarrassment that follows us like a dark shadow day by day. There is no escaping from its dread. As such, it holds us back and stifles our every attempt at freedom. One cannot prosper when the weight of sin is so great.

Ultimately, therefore, choosing to live in secret sin keeps me bound in fear of man and separation from God. It even has physical and emotional/psychological consequences on my well-being. Conversely, living as a child of the light not only offers me a superior lifestyle of intimacy and love with the Father which grows, but it also supplies me with defensive and offensive protection against the attacks of the enemy, physically, spiritually and emotionally. To choose to live in secret sin is to choose to live in defeat and bondage, kept apart from God. I choose, however, to live in the light, enjoying, seeking after and even being a part of its exposing influence, to be a healthy and fruitful child of God.

I don’t know about you, but when I have sin in my life it makes me feel so unworthy.  It really makes me feel like I have no right to even ask God for help. I don’t like this feeling yet I still dwell in it day after day when I hold onto sin.  No one else may know but God and me, but I feel like I have a giant scarlet letter on my forehead.  I take that as a good sign.  That means that there is something in me – God, I believe – that contradicts the sin I am involved in.  It is a contradiction to who I am in Him and who He is trying to help me become. 

Sin is never a part of God’s perfect plan for our lives.  It doesn’t belong there and therefore it causes sorrow and pain.  It may feel good at first and we may be able to talk ourselves into believing its ok, especially with secret sins, but the reality is that it causes a separation between us and God.  There is danger of living an incomplete Christian life where Jesus Christ is Lord everywhere but in our secret lives.  Sin will eventually awake from sleep and shake off its cover. If not for the saving grace of the Master’s hand, sin would eat us alive.

The Great Oxymoron?
A sinful Christian.  Is that really such a contradiction in terms?  Not really.  After all, we are human and God made us and knew we were sinful beings. Thus He provided the lamb, Jesus, as an atoning sacrifice for our sin.  He knew we would not be perfect…that we would sin.  What is it?  What is it that has that hold on your life?  What shackles you and keeps you from being free?  Whatever it is, it is keeping you from moving forward in your spiritual growth, and experiencing the power and blessings of God.  Let it go.  God understands.  He loves us and shows us mercy and forgiveness.  You may be fooling the rest of the world but He sees your heart.  There is no where you can go to hide from Him and there is no secret He does not know.  But He loves us with unconditional, everlasting love anyway.  He is our advocate and Savior. He is our rescuer and protector. Quit whatever it is that has a hold on you.  After all, you wouldn’t continue to poke yourself with a hot poker if it hurt terribly. Stop. Confess to Him and claim this amazing grace now.  

Scripture to Claim: 
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 2 Corinthians 4:2