I pray
also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know
the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in
the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians
1:18-19
Recently our church suffered a tragic loss. A fourteen year old boy took his own
life. It just doesn’t make any
sense. No one even knows why. There were no signs and no big event that led
up to this choice. It was just that – a choice. These are the times when I do
question God’s sovereignty. I know I
shouldn’t but it does not make sense to me that God, in his sovereignty, would
allow this to happen. I know that this
was not God’s choice, just like all the sins in our lives. It was his choice and God allows us to make
those choices and suffer the consequences that follow.
I don’t know about anyone else but for me, this changes
everything. My perspective is completely
different now. I am shaken to the core
because this hits just too close to home.
I have a fourteen year old boy who was friends with him. I cannot imagine the suffering and pain his
parents are feeling. All I can think
about is the time I have left with my son.
Four short years and he may possibly be gone off to school or on a
career. But I know it may be sooner
because we never really know what even the next few minutes hold. Everything else in life that so many people
make important now seems so small; so trivial.
Social Media, cars, clothes, big houses, boats. These are not the important things in life. People are the important things in life.
This has made me think about my own life as well. Life is so fragile. So valuable.
And so vulnerable. We are only given so many minutes to spend. How do I want to spend the minutes I have
left? What do I want my story to look
like? It makes me sit up and take notice
of the things in my life that shouldn’t be there and pay more attention to the
things that should be there. Life is
just too short. My minutes are not up
(as of this moment) and I am blessed to be able to open my eyes and take note,
even though it is so very painful too. I
am thankful I still have control over the choices
I make from this time forward. And that is the essence of our lives, a series
of choices.
It is sad that it takes something this tragic to get our attention. However there is usually some good that comes
from tragedy. He was not my son. He was not even a young man I have spent a
lot of time around. He has not been to
my house. But he was my son’s
friend. My son is at his house every day
because he works there and he has been there many times to Bible study and a
couple of times just as another fourteen year old boy spending the night. I didn’t know him well and I am sure he would
have never thought that he could impact my life in such a way. But he has.
I wish for all of us that I could bring him back, but that is
impossible. I wish so very much for his
parents that I could make him alive again and take away their pain. I wish for all of us that it had never even happened. But I have no control. God is in control and I know I must accept this. My head understands and my heart is working
on it. It will never make sense to me. I
do trust God, even in the tragedy and even in the pain. I have no choice but to cling to the promises
of God as my life preserver. He promises
never to leave us or forsake us. He
loves us no matter what. Nothing,
nothing, nothing can take that away from us, ever.
Scripture to Claim:
Who shall
separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or
persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep
to be slaughtered.” No, in all these
things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that
neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to
come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will
be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans
8:35-39
