Speaking Well of Your Spouse

Submitted by David Miller

So, let me ask you this question.  If a news crew were to interview about your spouse, what would you tell them?  Most likely, we would all say how great our spouse is and that they complete us.  But what if that same news crew left and went to your best friend’s house and asked them what we thought of our spouse.  Or, better yet, went to the “girls’ night out” group or our “lunch buddies” or our “man cave friends”?  What would the news crew be told that we have said about our spouses?

Now that may sound ridiculous but the reality is many couples choose to vent their frustrations about their spouses publically rather than openly edify and lift them up to others.  They choose to spew negative comments about them and are always quick to point out their shortcomings.  We even sometimes, albeit innocently, poke fun at them.

Paul gives us this advice in Ephesians.  ²⁹ Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Ephesians 4:29 (MSG)

The way we speak of our spouse publically is a direct reflection of our own relationship to Christ.  We are to be a reflection of His image and seek to build up our spouse with our words and not seek to destroy him or her by what we tell others.  In addition to loving and respecting our spouses the way the bible instructs us to social psychologists tell us over and over again, positive praise produces positive behavior. When you praise your spouse, you get more of the same. When I tell my friends how much I enjoy going out with my wife … the message cycles back to her … affirming to her that I really enjoy spending time with her.

When we choose to keep our words positive, our emotions and feelings will follow suit. We have the ability to literally talk ourselves into a better view of our spouse. If we choose to dwell on the negative, the same thought holds true and we linger in frustration and bitterness.  When frustration and bitterness dwells, it forces its way to the surface through our mouths.  Then our mouth says things that we can no longer take back.  Of course in our mind we were right and our spouse was wrong making our spouse look stupid and petty.  This leaves a negative impression of our spouse with whoever we spoke to in the heat of the moment.  But when we get home, we resolve the conflict but we never bring complete closure because we fail to go back to the person we spouted off to and let them know the conflict was resolved and confess our part of causing the conflict.  Instead, we choose to “save face” and never let the third party know how we really feel about our spouse which causes them to think less of our spouse. 

I challenge you today to start speaking well of your spouse in public ... and see how it transforms both your and your spouse's attitudes and actions!

Scripture to Claim:
Now all of you together are Christ's body, and each one of you is a separate and necessary part of it.  1 Corinthians 12:27