Communication Part 2

Thursday, April 16, 2020  By Pastor Van

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6 NASB


Part 2 The Five Essential Elements of Good Communication

In this time of “Forced Togetherness”, here are some things that can really make a difference in our communication.  They are taken from Pastor Jimmy Evans, but I could not help but pass them along.  Communication takes work.  Those who do not work at it will find themselves in trouble with relationships. 

     I.        An Atmosphere of Trust

Trust has to be earned in marriage and family.  People will will not open their hearts to you if they do not trust you. I once heard someone say trust is “earned in drops and lost in buckets.”  You build trust by being faithful, servant-hearted, sacrificial and humble. You also build it by being caring, empathetic and attentive.  Keeping your promises and not sharing intimate information is a beginning, but not embarrassing them in front of others is just as important.

During periods of conflict, you build trust by being approachable and responsible. When confronted, you don’t deflect blame or cast accusations.

    II.        An Atmosphere of Truth and Love

Ephesians 4:15 uses the phrase, “speaking the truth in love” as it relates to the process of becoming Christlike. Those two things-truth and love-have to accompany each other. Communication requires truthfulness, and if you don’t speak the truth in your marriage you have a big problem. But grace has to pave the way for words of truth. Speaking the truth without love is simply mean. It can feel like an attack.

The first three minutes of a conversation will dictate the full conversation, so let love lead: “I don’t know if this is right, but something you said to me yesterday really hurt my feelings.  I don’t want to attack you, but I do want to understand what you meant.”  Grace has to go first.

  III.        Team Spirit

Husbands and wives differ from each other by God’s design, and we have to respect those differences. Each child has their own strengths to add to the family unit.  Discovering those will assist in finding significance in the family.  Statements that celebrate individuality and uniqueness are always teambuilders.  No single individual is as strong or capable as a team and family benefits from discovering gifts and sharing responsibility.  Communication is vital to good teamwork.

To communicate successfully in a marriage and family, you have to be careful about your tone. You have to set aside time. You have to create an atmosphere of trust and season truth with love and grace. And you must be able to accept each other’s differences. Pursue these five goals and you’ll find that your communication improves.  And when communication improves, so does your family.

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. 
Psalms 141:3 NASB